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  • Should Parents Control Their Children's Time?

  • In modern society children have begun to watch a lots of videos and play video games.
  • As a result, they read less than 30 years ago, when their parents were growing up.
  • Therefore, it is believed that parents should limit the amount of the time of their children spend in front of a computer monitor and should make them read books instead.
  • In this essay I am going to discuss the viewpoints of those parents as well as those who do not think so and also give my opinion about that.
  • There is no doubt that some children are addicted to the newest media such as video games and videos such as movies, TV-shows and serials.
  • When a child that is spending all their time after school playing games and watching TV, they get lower grades than those that do not do such things.
  • Those children, who have good grades, differ because some of their parents control their time, which could instead be wasted, and make their children use that time in a beneficial way.
  • For instance, they help their children to understand school subjects and encourage them to read interesting books.
  • On the other hand, there are parents that do not want to disturb their child and make them read books and study after school.
  • As a result, this type of children has not only have low grades in the present moment but also can have a low chance to enrol in a college.
  • To conclude, parents are different in the way how they control their own children, of them encourage their children to read and study, while others neglect that.
  • In my opinion, parents should limit children’s time, which spent in front of media devices, and help their children to read important and interesting books for studying, which could help their children to have a better life in the future.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
  • 문장 2
  • 문장 3
    • Therefore, it is believed that parents should limit the amount of the time of their children spend in front of a computer monitor and should make them read books instead.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3
  • 문장 4
    • In this essay I am going to discuss the viewpoints of those parents as well as those who do not think so and also give my opinion about that.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • There is no doubt that some children are addicted to the newest media such as video games and videos such as movies, TV-shows and serials.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • When a child that is spending all their time after school playing games and watching TV, they get lower grades than those that do not do such things.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • Those children, who have good grades, differ because some of their parents control their time, which could instead be wasted, and make their children use that time in a beneficial way.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • For instance, they help their children to understand school subjects and encourage them to read interesting books.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • On the other hand, there are parents that do not want to disturb their child and make them read books and study after school.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
    • As a result, this type of children has not only have low grades in the present moment but also can have a low chance to enrol in a college.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10
  • 문장 11
    • To conclude, parents are different in the way how they control their own children, of them encourage their children to read and study, while others neglect that.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 11
  • 문장 12
    • In my opinion, parents should limit children’s time, which spent in front of media devices, and help their children to read important and interesting books for studying, which could help their children to have a better life in the future.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12