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Bur4iko (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

  • IELTS writing task 2

  • Nowadays marketing industry become one of the most important subjects in the economic system therefore there is debate about advertising is beneficial for consumers or not.
  • So, opinions of people is divided into those who think that advertising is a convenient way to tell people about innovations, others think that advertising encourages people to spend money to needlessness items.
  • From my point of view, originally advertising is not good and not bad, it depends on product and company who used to advertise one, and consumer’s criticism.
  • First of all, every men should understand that entrepreneurs will make an advertising only if they will get growth of the sales by one.
  • Moreover, financial prosperity of consumers is not interesting for the entrepreneurs at all, and because of this we see on TV shop how salesman name most common items innovational super convenient ones.
  • It can be clearly seen that in this case consumers will lose their money rather than get something what they want to have.
  • But on the other hand, advertising may be used for letting people know about new inventions.
  • Usually high-tech companies like Microsoft, Apple, HP, and etc. use this type of advertising because of their products have no analogs and without advertising people will do not know about existence of this product.
  • Of course these companies still encourage us to buy only to earn money, but in this case, people who buy their product rather will be satisfied with their new items.
  • All in all, advertising cannot be absolutely bad or good.
  • Of course in matter of consumer’s benefit it rather harmful.
  • Otherwise, in our fast moving world critical thinking become to one of the most important skills in the life.
  • Anyway, every men have a choice what he or she want to buy, and if he or she cannot resist to advertising it is only his or her problems.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
    • Nowadays marketing industry become one of the most important subjects in the economic system therefore there is debate about advertising is beneficial for consumers or not.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1
  • 문장 2
    • So, opinions of people is divided into those who think that advertising is a convenient way to tell people about innovations, others think that advertising encourages people to spend money to needlessness items.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2
  • 문장 3
    • From my point of view, originally advertising is not good and not bad, it depends on product and company who used to advertise one, and consumer’s criticism.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3
  • 문장 4
    • First of all, every men should understand that entrepreneurs will make an advertising only if they will get growth of the sales by one.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • Moreover, financial prosperity of consumers is not interesting for the entrepreneurs at all, and because of this we see on TV shop how salesman name most common items innovational super convenient ones.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • It can be clearly seen that in this case consumers will lose their money rather than get something what they want to have.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • Usually high-tech companies like Microsoft, Apple, HP, and etc. use this type of advertising because of their products have no analogs and without advertising people will do not know about existence of this product.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • Of course these companies still encourage us to buy only to earn money, but in this case, people who buy their product rather will be satisfied with their new items.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
  • 문장 11
  • 문장 12
  • 문장 13
    • Anyway, every men have a choice what he or she want to buy, and if he or she cannot resist to advertising it is only his or her problems.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 13ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 13