A crowd full of ignorants roam the streets in my head.
In fact they break the sidewalk and only bring me shame.
They paint insecurities on the walls of my brain creating thoughts and paused actions, causing me pain.
It takes over all the time when it's time to control.
They build brick by brick a large wall and it blocks my speak.
A simple speech makes me feel in the edge of death.
Going out is painful because they stick on my veins and make me insane near of real people.
Some try to adorn but the bads are stronger so they drown it inside, under my throat holding a knot made of tears.
What if it will never leave me?
They ignore any good social point I try to do.
I still have a life but they're still inside.
I've got thoughts of suicide.
I open my mouth and I say something, finally; but they're holding my vocal chords, it sounds so low and not understandable.
I want to stop but I act weird: my hands shake when a tower goes down, I sweat when fire goes up, I stutter when their shots are loud.
Who's gonna save me?
Who will understand?
Am I the only one who can't speak what claims my mind?
They stole my heart, they stole my life.
They built their reign with my virtues, self esteem and self control; now they're destroying everything into this war inside my brain.
I'm just a peasant walking through my soul.
Sightseeing their destruction and battle with no signs pointing to stop or begin.
Nothing hits me but fear.
I'm made by fear, every inch of myself, it's covered by fear.
A fierce strength of fear is coursing through my blood and it's demanding me to blush because I'm ashamed of who I am.
I don't like who I am.
Mirrors are my enemy and I can't look at them.
Crowds are my trauma I can't stay among them.
A war never lasts.
But it does let scars and I'm sure this disorder won't ever leave me completely.
July 2015
Ψηφίστε τώρα! 