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Lunch in a typical Chinese restaurant A few days after I arrived in Shanghai, I ate out in a typical Chinese restaurant with another exchange student and a Chinese freshman.

It was in that restaurant that I experienced my first cultural shock related to Chinese meals.

Indeed, when one eats in Macdonald or KFC, he has pretty much the same experience as in a western country.

Even in Chinese restaurants which want to attract foreigners (menu translated in English…) the shock is not so important: of course there are some differences (meals are different, chopsticks) but to my mind we cannot speak of a “cultural sock”.

But that restaurant was different: it did not seek to attract foreigners (nothing was translated in English…) and our freshman friend told us it was a typical Chinese restaurant.

Indeed, there were only Chinese families inside.

Four reasons made me fell that lunch as a cultural shock.

First, the most surprising thing was that we had to share some meals.

I mean everyone had its own main course (rice, noodle, soup…) but the meat was put in the middle of the table and everybody ate the meat in the same dish.

At the beginning I didn’t know how to eat the meat: everybody had its own chopsticks but there weren’t extra ones that we could use to get some meat.

Indeed, everybody had put his chopsticks in his mouth and, in western countries, it is not clean to use chopstick one put in his mouth to take something in a shared dish.

Actually I noticed that Chinese people and Westerners do not have the same standards of cleanliness.

For instance in Europe it is dirty to spit because having a spit on the ground is considered dirty.

One could even have a fine because he spited on the ground!

On the contrary in China, as the spit is dirty, it is considered dirty not to spit because you keep something dirty inside you.

Secondly, the waiter brought us the bill before we had finished eating.

In France, it is the guests who ask for the bill and not the waiter who decides to bring it, because it would be considered impolite.

Moreover, French people are used to stay at the table for a long time after having finished eating in order to discuss.

That’s why I understood that, in China, when one have finished eating, he is expected to get away from the restaurant.

I think it is because in France more than in any other country the lunch is a socialization moment.

In the evening, the whole family sits around the table to eat and share their days.

In France, it is very rare to eat alone because eating is the perfect moment (a kind of pretext) to discuss with friends, relatives… On the contrary, in some countries like the United States it is usual that the whole family do not eat all together in the evening even if everybody is at home.

Coming in China made me understand the adage: “People eat to live but Frenchs live to eat”.

Thirdly, in China it’s not usual to eat a dessert.

It is true that French people do not often eat a dessert in a restaurant, especially when it is expensive.

However I noticed that even at home or in university’s canteens Chinese people do not eat dessert whereas is France it is very usual to eat something sweet at the end of the lunch (a yogurt, a fruit, a piece of cake..) or at least a coffee.

A French would never finish a lunch with a salty taste.

Lastly, a lot of Chinese people make noise while eating.

This is disrespectful in Western Europe whereas it is not in China.

Moreover it is not considered dirty to blech during the lunch in China whereas it is in France.

I understood that there is nothing polite or impolite in absolute terms.

Standards of politeness depends on the culture, collective unconscious and values of the country.

That is why it is very important to have a clear understanding of theses factors to be able to communicate efficiently with people.

Indeed, a large part of the communication is transmitted through body language.

For instance one can be impolite by trying to be respectful because he does not know the local standards.