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DavidinParis (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

  • What do you think about the social network ?

  • This is a vast topic, i must explain serveral things to do understand my thinking.
  • First , does Social network is an achievement ?
  • Yes, absolutly so i can’t say that is a bad things.
  • But there are different points of view, it’s a fact the social networks are permitted that people can communicate better than before, can have access about information quickly.
  • I could write a lot of good points about that, and all people know that.
  • Nevertheless all the things aren’t good, i’m thinking about the sad news, for example the childrens who have a lot of problems on the network, sometimes they can give themselves the death… Because when a publication is written on the web all people can be informing about that, and the news go quickly !
  • Some lifes have been broken because of stories of childrens.
  • Some people show their sexual life, or personal informations.
  • Currently, people can do and say all that they want, but in my opinion it’s too much, i want that all people can say all that they want but our identity must be able to control… In short the social network is a very good evolution but it must have a lot of control.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

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  • 문장 1
  • 문장 2
  • 문장 3
  • 문장 4
    • But there are different points of view, it’s a fact the social networks are permitted that people can communicate better than before, can have access about information quickly.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4
  • 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • Nevertheless all the things aren’t good, i’m thinking about the sad news, for example the childrens who have a lot of problems on the network, sometimes they can give themselves the death… Because when a publication is written on the web all people can be informing about that, and the news go quickly !
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
  • 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • Currently, people can do and say all that they want, but in my opinion it’s too much, i want that all people can say all that they want but our identity must be able to control… In short the social network is a very good evolution but it must have a lot of control.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9