Opravy

The research itself.

So I start reading and what interrupts me: *) Dissatisfaction that "I have to read".

That means that I subconsciously force myself to read just not to feel bored, hoping to enjoy it sooner or later.

*) Dissatisfaction that something interesting doesn't begin.

*) Dissatisfaction that I can't see anything new.

*) There is always a confidence that I'm wasting my time, because "nothing happens" in a book and really nothing happens in my life when I'm reading, so I start imagine how I could do something else instead, interesting or useful.

In reality, if I don't read, I watch tv series or renew a few favourite sites in the internet and feel dissatisfaction in "nothing new" again :) and feel even worse.

So, the confidence in wasting time is absolutely undue and inadequate, I wonder where it came from.

Maybe from teachers or parents, when they made me always do something useful and not "waste time on fooling around".

And why I still want to learn how to get pleasure from reading anyway: *) Till 2009 it was really a pleasure.

*) I want to be smart and readings could help with it.

*) I want to be self-satisfied and smug (by?) knowing rare authors sometimes (that's the bad reason, but here it is anyway - and I want to be honest with my motives).

*) To not to feel bored if movies already bored me.

*) Cause reading is valuable pastime among my friends.

(That's another bad reason, but it's still here, so...

I don't want to fix it now anyway).

That is all research.

I thought it's too simple and it will not work but it worked surprisingly :) After a week or two I wanted to read Stanislavski "An Actor Prepares" all of a sudden, then Bazhanov "Memories of former Secretary of Stalin", it was very interesting, then I read three another books and I didn't feel that stupid dissatisfaction at all!