Korektoj

HELPU KOREKTI NUN!Ne korektita

Text from HappyHipo - English

  • The Essay

  • Topic: In many countries, as increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer games.
  • To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
  • The question of violence on TV and in computer games as its link to the increase in crime as well has been widely discussed in recent years.
  • Personally, I think that this question is a controversial one and is open for debate.
  • It is a well-known fact that television and computer games have a great impact on adolescent`s behavior.
  • Seeing favorite personage who are presented as a hero on TV or in a game children try to copy their behavior in real life.
  • Moreover, in view of the fact that heroes from video games or movies are never punished for their violent actions, teenagers don`t realize that violence can lead to the crime.
  • Not only children, adults often don`t understand that their aggressive actions can be considered as a crime.
  • One more thing that should be mentioned is that TV and games filled with cruel behavior and speech disrupt any boundaries of allowance in people`s mind.
  • If a game hero is allowed to behave violently with no taking responsibility for his actions, his admirers will not perceive his actions as inappropriate behavior.
  • As a result, people often don`t understand what is allowed to do and what kind of actions are prohibited and can lead to undesirable consequences.
  • On the other hand, Television is not the only way for forming people`s behavior.
  • The community plays a significant role in human`s life.
  • If a teenager or an adult is brought up in a positive social atmosphere neither TV nor violent games can affect his behavior in a bad way.
  • In conclusion, I would say that violence on TV isn`t the only reason which causes the increase in crime.
  • I`m convinced that the main reasons of crime are poverty and illiteracy.
  • Once these social problems will be solved, the number of crime will drop essentially.
  • However, violence on TV and in computer games should be under control of the government in order to protect our children from negative emotions.

PLEASE, HELP TO CORRECT EACH SENTENCE! - English

  • Titolo
  • Frazo 1
    • Topic: In many countries, as increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer games.
      Voĉdoni nun!
    • ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 1ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 1
  • Frazo 2
  • Frazo 3
    • The question of violence on TV and in computer games as its link to the increase in crime as well has been widely discussed in recent years.
      Voĉdoni nun!
    • ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 3ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 3
  • Frazo 4
  • Frazo 5
  • Frazo 6
    • Seeing favorite personage who are presented as a hero on TV or in a game children try to copy their behavior in real life.
      Voĉdoni nun!
    • ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 6ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 6
  • Frazo 7
    • Moreover, in view of the fact that heroes from video games or movies are never punished for their violent actions, teenagers don`t realize that violence can lead to the crime.
      Voĉdoni nun!
    • ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 7ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 7
  • Frazo 8
  • Frazo 9
    • One more thing that should be mentioned is that TV and games filled with cruel behavior and speech disrupt any boundaries of allowance in people`s mind.
      Voĉdoni nun!
    • ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 9ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 9
  • Frazo 10
    • If a game hero is allowed to behave violently with no taking responsibility for his actions, his admirers will not perceive his actions as inappropriate behavior.
      Voĉdoni nun!
    • ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 10ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 10
  • Frazo 11
    • As a result, people often don`t understand what is allowed to do and what kind of actions are prohibited and can lead to undesirable consequences.
      Voĉdoni nun!
    • ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 11ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 11
  • Frazo 12
  • Frazo 13
  • Frazo 14
    • If a teenager or an adult is brought up in a positive social atmosphere neither TV nor violent games can affect his behavior in a bad way.
      Voĉdoni nun!
    • ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 14ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 14
  • Frazo 15
  • Frazo 16
  • Frazo 17
  • Frazo 18
    • However, violence on TV and in computer games should be under control of the government in order to protect our children from negative emotions.
      Voĉdoni nun!
    • ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 18ALDONI NOVAN KOREKTON - Frazo 18