Korekty

Text from HappyHipo - English

  • The Essay

  • Topic: In many countries, as increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer games.
  • To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
  • The question of violence on TV and in computer games as its link to the increase in crime as well has been widely discussed in recent years.
  • Personally, I think that this question is a controversial one and is open for debate.
  • It is a well-known fact that television and computer games have a great impact on adolescent`s behavior.
  • Seeing favorite personage who are presented as a hero on TV or in a game children try to copy their behavior in real life.
  • Moreover, in view of the fact that heroes from video games or movies are never punished for their violent actions, teenagers don`t realize that violence can lead to the crime.
  • Not only children, adults often don`t understand that their aggressive actions can be considered as a crime.
  • One more thing that should be mentioned is that TV and games filled with cruel behavior and speech disrupt any boundaries of allowance in people`s mind.
  • If a game hero is allowed to behave violently with no taking responsibility for his actions, his admirers will not perceive his actions as inappropriate behavior.
  • As a result, people often don`t understand what is allowed to do and what kind of actions are prohibited and can lead to undesirable consequences.
  • On the other hand, Television is not the only way for forming people`s behavior.
  • The community plays a significant role in human`s life.
  • If a teenager or an adult is brought up in a positive social atmosphere neither TV nor violent games can affect his behavior in a bad way.
  • In conclusion, I would say that violence on TV isn`t the only reason which causes the increase in crime.
  • I`m convinced that the main reasons of crime are poverty and illiteracy.
  • Once these social problems will be solved, the number of crime will drop essentially.
  • However, violence on TV and in computer games should be under control of the government in order to protect our children from negative emotions.

POMÓŻ POPRAWIĆ KAŻDE ZDANIE Z OSOBNA - English

  • Tytuł
  • Zdanie 1
    • Topic: In many countries, as increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer games.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 1DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 1
  • Zdanie 2
  • Zdanie 3
    • The question of violence on TV and in computer games as its link to the increase in crime as well has been widely discussed in recent years.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 3DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 3
  • Zdanie 4
  • Zdanie 5
  • Zdanie 6
    • Seeing favorite personage who are presented as a hero on TV or in a game children try to copy their behavior in real life.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 6DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 6
  • Zdanie 7
    • Moreover, in view of the fact that heroes from video games or movies are never punished for their violent actions, teenagers don`t realize that violence can lead to the crime.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 7DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 7
  • Zdanie 8
  • Zdanie 9
    • One more thing that should be mentioned is that TV and games filled with cruel behavior and speech disrupt any boundaries of allowance in people`s mind.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 9DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 9
  • Zdanie 10
    • If a game hero is allowed to behave violently with no taking responsibility for his actions, his admirers will not perceive his actions as inappropriate behavior.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 10DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 10
  • Zdanie 11
    • As a result, people often don`t understand what is allowed to do and what kind of actions are prohibited and can lead to undesirable consequences.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 11DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 11
  • Zdanie 12
  • Zdanie 13
  • Zdanie 14
    • If a teenager or an adult is brought up in a positive social atmosphere neither TV nor violent games can affect his behavior in a bad way.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 14DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 14
  • Zdanie 15
  • Zdanie 16
  • Zdanie 17
  • Zdanie 18
    • However, violence on TV and in computer games should be under control of the government in order to protect our children from negative emotions.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 18DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 18