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  • Technological progress

  • The idea of progress can be defined as an evolution, a development or a change – a technical, scientific or social advance which leads to an overall improvement.
  • The twenty-first century's major progress is the development of technology : nowadays everybody as a smartphone, whereas no one could have imagine that fifty years ago.
  • This change was so quick and so abrupt, that it drove a wedge between two generations.
  • So we can ask : «  To what extend technological progress could be totally good ?
  • First we'll see the bright side of this progress, then we will look into the negative aspects.
  • Our father's chilhood was acutally really diffenrent than their : after school they used to do their homework and then go for a walk with their friends.
  • They used to ride every week for hours beside a river, play in the street or in the forest..
  • If they were far away from their friend, they had to exchange letters or if they were lucky, they could called them but it was thanks to a corded phone, so they were beside their parents and they had to pay for.
  • Whereas now, all teenagers have a smartphone or a computer, and a lot spend most of their time on videos games or tv.
  • They had a phone which's almost become a part of their hand.
  • On the one hand, the technology could be a really beneficial thing.
  • Indeed, the web is a source of an enourmous quantity of information : it allows each to access to ressources and assure an certain equality face to the knowledge, which makes a big difference with the previous generation.
  • Moreover, the possibilities' extent are so important that web surfers can satisfy their curiosity and discover others cultures, others ways of life, which is rewarding.
  • Thanks to the web you can encounter person of any place in the world, and exchange with others require a tolerant's development.
  • This is a fact, nowadays young people are more mature than they used to be, and the cultural apport of the web could be a reason.
  • This fact could be explained thanks to another good point of internet : the community.
  • People, surfing on the web, can find people which share their opinions, their tastes, their hoobies...With people regroupments, each could belong to a community, etablish ties with people, make friend..
  • Texts messages, and social networks are offering everyday an amazing social ties' flow.
  • Thanks to them, the link is never broken, despite a physical separation.
  • They are always connected with each other and feeling envelopped might be a factor or happiness.
  • Still, there is the other side of the coin.
  • Actually, despite few people know that : technologicals devices are bad for health.
  • For the sleep because of the evening utilisation, for the brain because of waves, and for eyes, that can't stand a too long time of exposition etc..
  • Teenagers are used to spend so much time on the net, that a lot botch their homework, which is a bad thing.
  • Moreover, they don't read anymore before sleeping, they all prefer tchatting on their phone.
  • So their spelling deteriorates, and they lose a part of their imagination.
  • The web presents an other big drawback : there are a lot of dangerous sites, which encourages violence and pornography.
  • Nowadays, teenagers are confronted everyday at chocking pictures, videos etc..
  • However, this is the way where teenagers are contacted by jihadist and enlist over there.
  • To be short, we could say the technological progress isn't bad in itself, this is his use who might be harmful or dangerous.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

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  • 문장 1
    • The idea of progress can be defined as an evolution, a development or a change – a technical, scientific or social advance which leads to an overall improvement.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1
  • 문장 2
    • The twenty-first century's major progress is the development of technology : nowadays everybody as a smartphone, whereas no one could have imagine that fifty years ago.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2
  • 문장 3
  • 문장 4
  • 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • Our father's chilhood was acutally really diffenrent than their : after school they used to do their homework and then go for a walk with their friends.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • If they were far away from their friend, they had to exchange letters or if they were lucky, they could called them but it was thanks to a corded phone, so they were beside their parents and they had to pay for.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • Whereas now, all teenagers have a smartphone or a computer, and a lot spend most of their time on videos games or tv.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
  • 문장 11
  • 문장 12
    • Indeed, the web is a source of an enourmous quantity of information : it allows each to access to ressources and assure an certain equality face to the knowledge, which makes a big difference with the previous generation.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12
  • 문장 13
    • Moreover, the possibilities' extent are so important that web surfers can satisfy their curiosity and discover others cultures, others ways of life, which is rewarding.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 13ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 13
  • 문장 14
    • Thanks to the web you can encounter person of any place in the world, and exchange with others require a tolerant's development.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 14ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 14
  • 문장 15
    • This is a fact, nowadays young people are more mature than they used to be, and the cultural apport of the web could be a reason.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 15ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 15
  • 문장 16
  • 문장 17
    • People, surfing on the web, can find people which share their opinions, their tastes, their hoobies...With people regroupments, each could belong to a community, etablish ties with people, make friend..
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 17ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 17
  • 문장 18
  • 문장 19
  • 문장 20
  • 문장 21
  • 문장 22
  • 문장 23
    • For the sleep because of the evening utilisation, for the brain because of waves, and for eyes, that can't stand a too long time of exposition etc..
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 23ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 23
  • 문장 24
  • 문장 25
  • 문장 26
  • 문장 27
    • The web presents an other big drawback : there are a lot of dangerous sites, which encourages violence and pornography.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 27ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 27
  • 문장 28
  • 문장 29
  • 문장 30
    • To be short, we could say the technological progress isn't bad in itself, this is his use who might be harmful or dangerous.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 30ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 30