수정본

HELP TO CORRECT NOW!수정되지 않은

Lesheey (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

  • Cell phones

  • It is known that over the past few decades, thanks to technical progress, cell phones have become an indispensable attribute of modern society.
  • Despite the obvious benefits, the most important of which is the quality of life improvement, this essay will also consider the negative aspects, the most hazardous of which is psychological dependency.
  • On one hand, it is impossible to disagree that modern smartphone is represented as one of those pillars on which communication inside of the society relies and progresses.
  • In other words, without this invention, which allows one-touch making a call anywhere in the world, accessing the Internet or finding out any location, it is difficult to imagine a person walking in step with the times.
  • For example, according to statistics, the average person at the moment carries out conversations via mobile communication more than 25 percent.
  • On the other hand, it can’t be denied that excessive infatuation with a mobile phone in the long term could adversely affect the person, cause a strong psychological dependence.
  • Scientists around the world, every day, receive more and more evidence that virtual communication is gradually replacing the real, which in turn reduces socialization.
  • People begin to hesitate to get acquainted in the real world, especially teenagers with not fully formed psyche are affected.
  • According to recent studies, for instance, children who used the phone on average more than 3 hours a day, showed a psychosomatic picture identical to drug addicts.
  • In conclusion, this essay supports the idea that in the current circumstances, the use of mobile phones undoubtedly brings more benefits to the public than the rejection of these.
  • Nevertheless, people should use this invention wisely, avoiding overdoing.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
    • It is known that over the past few decades, thanks to technical progress, cell phones have become an indispensable attribute of modern society.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1
  • 문장 2
    • Despite the obvious benefits, the most important of which is the quality of life improvement, this essay will also consider the negative aspects, the most hazardous of which is psychological dependency.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2
  • 문장 3
    • On one hand, it is impossible to disagree that modern smartphone is represented as one of those pillars on which communication inside of the society relies and progresses.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3
  • 문장 4
    • In other words, without this invention, which allows one-touch making a call anywhere in the world, accessing the Internet or finding out any location, it is difficult to imagine a person walking in step with the times.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • For example, according to statistics, the average person at the moment carries out conversations via mobile communication more than 25 percent.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • On the other hand, it can’t be denied that excessive infatuation with a mobile phone in the long term could adversely affect the person, cause a strong psychological dependence.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • Scientists around the world, every day, receive more and more evidence that virtual communication is gradually replacing the real, which in turn reduces socialization.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • People begin to hesitate to get acquainted in the real world, especially teenagers with not fully formed psyche are affected.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • According to recent studies, for instance, children who used the phone on average more than 3 hours a day, showed a psychosomatic picture identical to drug addicts.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
    • In conclusion, this essay supports the idea that in the current circumstances, the use of mobile phones undoubtedly brings more benefits to the public than the rejection of these.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10
  • 문장 11