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Lesheey (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

  • Preventing selfishness

  • It is sometimes argued that it should be more rational if parents would limit their kid’s right to make independent decisions to prevent them of being selfish.
  • However, there are those who suppose that such action is an unreasonable restriction of freedom.
  • This essay supports the later view because it is obvious that such kind of limitation will effect badly on social skills of a child in the future.
  • Firstly, this essay will discuss the supposedly roots why youngster become egoists, secondly, it will analyze the reasons why kids should obtain rights to choose.
  • There is an opinion that the main part of those who became an egoists due to lack of necessary parents control in the past.
  • Unfortunately, little do people realize that the situation is diametrically opposite and it is the lack of freedom of choice that makes the individual jealously guard their powers.
  • It is worth noting that this ultimately leads to the fact that the child grows up his eccentric.
  • For example, it has been reported by the World Association of Psychologists that such sort of education is not only useless as a method of preventing egoism, but also is a main reason of it’s appearance.
  • On the other hand, it is obvious that absence of the ability to make own decisions, a child can grow up dependent with low social skills.
  • Moreover, most psychologists consider this kind of the parent’s behavior as one of the types of violence against the child.
  • So, it is not surprisingly that, for instance, according to the report of the same organization, only 8 percent of young respondents expressed a desire to treat their future children the same way as their own parents did.
  • In conclusion, taking into account all written above, I am firmly convinced that any child should be treated as grown-up person and no unreasonable restrictions are allowed.
  • This is because neither is it believed that this could prevent selfishness in kids, nor do it could be trusted that this way of education is safe.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
    • It is sometimes argued that it should be more rational if parents would limit their kid’s right to make independent decisions to prevent them of being selfish.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1
  • 문장 2
  • 문장 3
    • This essay supports the later view because it is obvious that such kind of limitation will effect badly on social skills of a child in the future.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3
  • 문장 4
    • Firstly, this essay will discuss the supposedly roots why youngster become egoists, secondly, it will analyze the reasons why kids should obtain rights to choose.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • There is an opinion that the main part of those who became an egoists due to lack of necessary parents control in the past.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • Unfortunately, little do people realize that the situation is diametrically opposite and it is the lack of freedom of choice that makes the individual jealously guard their powers.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • For example, it has been reported by the World Association of Psychologists that such sort of education is not only useless as a method of preventing egoism, but also is a main reason of it’s appearance.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • On the other hand, it is obvious that absence of the ability to make own decisions, a child can grow up dependent with low social skills.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
    • Moreover, most psychologists consider this kind of the parent’s behavior as one of the types of violence against the child.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10
  • 문장 11
    • So, it is not surprisingly that, for instance, according to the report of the same organization, only 8 percent of young respondents expressed a desire to treat their future children the same way as their own parents did.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 11
  • 문장 12
    • In conclusion, taking into account all written above, I am firmly convinced that any child should be treated as grown-up person and no unreasonable restrictions are allowed.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12
  • 문장 13
    • This is because neither is it believed that this could prevent selfishness in kids, nor do it could be trusted that this way of education is safe.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 13ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 13