수정본

HELP TO CORRECT NOW!수정되지 않은

Brocky (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

  • Essay about Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor a

  • The issue stated by the topic is whether or not keeping animals in the zoos.
  • This is a very important issue because the number of zoos is rising and because the lives of some spices of animals are facing the threat of the extinction.
  • However, I believe animals should live free in the wild and not held in captivity.
  • First, keeping animals in zoos would harm their behavior nature, for example a tiger needs a huge space to adopt and teach their cub how to hunt and protect himself in order to survive, and by keeping him in a cage would definitely kill his skills.
  • Also, I believe animals have the same right as human does to live their free life.
  • It is not fair to take animals from their mother nature and keep them in small enclosures, in order to visit them on weekends to see them.
  • Finally, due to hunting animals from the wild would effect a misbalance in the spices of the animals and moreover they would extinct , for example hunting snakes and keeping them in the zoos would harm the corns by the rats, which would effect the economy of the country.
  • In conclusion, animals should live free in the wild and should not be kept in the zoos in order to bring balance to nature and save them from the extinction.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
  • 문장 2
    • This is a very important issue because the number of zoos is rising and because the lives of some spices of animals are facing the threat of the extinction.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2
  • 문장 3
  • 문장 4
    • First, keeping animals in zoos would harm their behavior nature, for example a tiger needs a huge space to adopt and teach their cub how to hunt and protect himself in order to survive, and by keeping him in a cage would definitely kill his skills.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4
  • 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • It is not fair to take animals from their mother nature and keep them in small enclosures, in order to visit them on weekends to see them.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • Finally, due to hunting animals from the wild would effect a misbalance in the spices of the animals and moreover they would extinct , for example hunting snakes and keeping them in the zoos would harm the corns by the rats, which would effect the economy of the country.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • In conclusion, animals should live free in the wild and should not be kept in the zoos in order to bring balance to nature and save them from the extinction.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8