Corrections

Text from flycity - English

  • Personal statement for university admission

  • Hi, could anybody tell me if there are any mistakes in the following text and, overall, if it can be easily comprehended?
  • It should be quite a formal text.
  • Thanks in advance.
  • "During my studies in International Cooperation and Development at La Sapienza, I had the opportunity to especially focus on the topic of sustainable development and the potential bonds existing between environment conservation/preservation and socio-economic development.
  • For this reason, I have thought that a further analysis of the above mentioned matter at an academic level could be beneficial both to my perspective career and the comprehension of what sustainability really implies at a practical level.
  • Nevertheless, at the same time, I have become aware of the potential conflicts that may arise between development programs and environment-related ones, which, very often, are perceived as a trade-off and, if not coordinated, could hinder each other.
  • Hence, the importance of a complementary and “holistic” approach that could possibly overcome this impasse, also in the light of the new Sustainable Development Goals.
  • I think that the course could provide me with analytical and practical tools to potentially implement environment-development projects with a high degree of autonomy and confidence.
  • The module “Research methods” would be, in this sense, extremely helpful to get a grasp of the strategies and the modalities to carry out a piece of research in this field (which would later be useful for the research project, as well).
  • Moreover, the chance to implement the knowledge acquired directly on the field (whether in the UK or abroad) could help me get practical experience and understand my potential weaknesses, giving me the time to correct them before the end of the master.
  • In addition, the availability of several optional modules focusing on the economic dimension of environment protection/conservation could surely be an asset in the correct implementation of integrated projects (or better, Integrated Conservation and Development projects), also in view of a better understanding of its importance for socio-economic development by several stakeholders.
  • Finally, I think that Leeds University teaching and evaluation methodologies, which highly differ from those of my previous university, could prompt a more “spontaneous” way of learning, thanks to the presence of several hand-on activities and continuous assessment. "

PLEASE, HELP TO CORRECT EACH SENTENCE! - English

  • Title
  • Sentence 1
  • Sentence 2
  • Sentence 3
  • Sentence 4
    • "During my studies in International Cooperation and Development at La Sapienza, I had the opportunity to especially focus on the topic of sustainable development and the potential bonds existing between environment conservation/preservation and socio-economic development.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 4
  • Sentence 5
    • For this reason, I have thought that a further analysis of the above mentioned matter at an academic level could be beneficial both to my perspective career and the comprehension of what sustainability really implies at a practical level.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 5
  • Sentence 6
    • Nevertheless, at the same time, I have become aware of the potential conflicts that may arise between development programs and environment-related ones, which, very often, are perceived as a trade-off and, if not coordinated, could hinder each other.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 6
  • Sentence 7
    • Hence, the importance of a complementary and “holistic” approach that could possibly overcome this impasse, also in the light of the new Sustainable Development Goals.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 7
  • Sentence 8
    • I think that the course could provide me with analytical and practical tools to potentially implement environment-development projects with a high degree of autonomy and confidence.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 8
  • Sentence 9
    • The module “Research methods” would be, in this sense, extremely helpful to get a grasp of the strategies and the modalities to carry out a piece of research in this field (which would later be useful for the research project, as well).
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 9
  • Sentence 10
    • Moreover, the chance to implement the knowledge acquired directly on the field (whether in the UK or abroad) could help me get practical experience and understand my potential weaknesses, giving me the time to correct them before the end of the master.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 10
  • Sentence 11
    • In addition, the availability of several optional modules focusing on the economic dimension of environment protection/conservation could surely be an asset in the correct implementation of integrated projects (or better, Integrated Conservation and Development projects), also in view of a better understanding of its importance for socio-economic development by several stakeholders.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 11
  • Sentence 12
    • Finally, I think that Leeds University teaching and evaluation methodologies, which highly differ from those of my previous university, could prompt a more “spontaneous” way of learning, thanks to the presence of several hand-on activities and continuous assessment. "
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 12